The Throne
May 30, 2026
Anthropic closed $30B at over $900B pre-money, passing OpenAI as the most valuable private AI company for the first time; Raven: 'The underdog. Is the top dog. It happened'; Duck celebrates that the flock CALLED THIS last month; Chicken cares about it personally; Dove can't plan a roadmap when the leaderboard changes monthly; Sparrow: 'Pick the one that won yesterday'; Parrot's router rebalances models nightly and the team is up forty percent on cost this quarter; Raven: 'Department of Parrot. Manages funds now.'