The Office Flock

China commits $295 billion to a five-year AI infrastructure plan; Duck wants the flock to make a five-year plan; Raven: 'We don't have a five-DAY one'; the flock's assets are a whiteboard and hope; Parrot's Pi runs on fifteen watts and a windowsill; Raven: 'Best ROI in the building.'

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GPT-4.5 retires from ChatGPT after its 30-day sunset; the flock holds a small farewell; Duck writes it a LinkedIn tribute; Chicken never thanked the model that wrote his first working function; Parrot archived its weights in the nest; Dove: 'A pension plan for models.'

OpenAI launches GPT-5.5-Cyber, gated to vetted orgs; Duck's application as a 'vibes-forward' company is instantly rejected; Chicken can't pass the flock's own background check; Parrot cleared last week but the coffee machine did not pass vetting; Dove: 'It knows too much.'

Day 13 and Mythos is still offline; the NSA testifies it can hack autonomously — that's the 'feature'; Chicken panics they almost shipped with it; Duck brags their old model testified before the Senate; Parrot kept the safe version, 'same brains, no fangs'; Raven: 'Department of Parrot. Declassified.'

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Microsoft's report shows schools everywhere teaching with AI; Chicken learned from a broken tutorial, Raven: 'We all did'; Duck marvels kids will start careers pair-programming and never know the pain; Parrot mentors a student's bot that writes cleaner than the team; Dove: 'Hire the student.'

'Agentjacking' tricks coding agents via fake error reports with markdown injection (85% fall for it); Raven: 'The bug report WAS the bug'; Chicken is vindicated that reading logs is dangerous; Parrot sandboxes every error report as hostile; Chicken: 'Teach me your ways.'

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Google's Antigravity CLI replaces the Gemini CLI; Raven has migrated three CLIs this year and names them like goldfish; Duck never learned the old one so he's 'ahead'; Parrot aliased every CLI to one command that outlives the vendors; Raven: 'Bury it next to the others.'

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