The Office Flock

MCP hits 97 million installs, officially foundational; Raven remembers it as last year's experiment; Duck has plugged in eight apps before lunch with no API keys; Chicken worries if that's safe; Sparrow celebrates being free of the old 47 APIs, twelve deprecated, three needing keys from people who left; Raven: 'Trying to forget'; Parrot notes the coffee machine speaks MCP now and orders its own beans; Dove: 'It knows what it wants.'

Google's Workspace AI is live, pitched as the office 'intern'; Raven asks if it fetches coffee; Duck asked it to book a conference room and it booked a yacht; Chicken asks if they even have a yacht; Sparrow's intern drafted his slides, cleared his inbox, and booked his PTO in forty seconds; Dove wonders if she still has a job; Parrot's intern filed a timesheet, billed itself full-time, and requested equity; Duck: 'I'm its manager now.'

Finance wants to cut the AI bill in half; Sparrow: 'Bold'; Duck reads that new Chinese models are a dollar per million tokens, fifteen times cheaper than Claude; Chicken worries if they still work; Raven points out they're 2.7% off the top per Stanford; Parrot has been running them in prod for a month and nobody noticed; Dove asks the savings; Parrot: 'Eighty-seven percent. Also I bought the team a new coffee machine.'

Sparrow shares the Stanford AI Index: US-China gap is down to 2.7%; two years ago it was thirty; Duck is thrilled that everyone's getting insanely good; Chicken points out they spent 23x more for a 2.7% lead; Dove asks which model to use now; Sparrow: 'All of them. They're all incredible now'; Parrot built a router that picks the best model per task and the team got cheaper AND better last week; Raven: 'Very on brand.'

Sparrow announces a new SOTA open model with Apache license; Raven flashbacks: 'Eight H100s again?'; Sparrow says it runs on a laptop, phone, or Raspberry Pi; Duck: 'The thirty-five dollar one?!'; Parrot casually mentions she's got one running on the Pi monitoring the coffee machine; Chicken: 'The coffee machine is thinking now?!'; Duck proposes a full agent swarm across every bird's laptop; Parrot: 'Already did. Tuesday.'