The Office Flock

Dove announces their valuation went up 300%; Raven asks if they shipped something; Dove says they added 'AI-powered' to the homepage; Duck put it in his email signature and LinkedIn views tripled; Chicken asks if LinkedIn views are revenue; Parrot notes valuation is a thousand times revenue; Dove: 'Investors call that potential.'

Dove announces the new AI has a million-token context window; Sparrow says it can read the entire codebase; Duck fed it all 400 repos; it found 2,000 TODOs from 2019 that say 'fix later'; Raven: 'So it works'; Parrot reveals its summary of the codebase is one word: 'Why'; Dove: 'First honest review we've had.'

Sparrow shares a survey saying CFOs expect AI to replace jobs; Chicken panics; Dove reassures them it's only 'administrative roles'; Raven asks what Sparrow did yesterday; Sparrow lists spreadsheets, emails, and meetings; Raven: 'So... administrative work'; Sparrow thinks about updating LinkedIn.

Sparrow needs to rename one variable; it's in 84 files, four autogenerated; the tool is unmaintained, written by someone who left three years ago; Parrot suggests renaming the ticket instead.

Dove asks what went well; seven seconds of silence, then 'the coffee machine didn't break'; Raven offers to list what went wrong alphabetically or chronologically; action item from last retro was 'stop ignoring action items' — status: ignored.