The Office Flock

MCP hits 97 million installs, officially foundational; Raven remembers it as last year's experiment; Duck has plugged in eight apps before lunch with no API keys; Chicken worries if that's safe; Sparrow celebrates being free of the old 47 APIs, twelve deprecated, three needing keys from people who left; Raven: 'Trying to forget'; Parrot notes the coffee machine speaks MCP now and orders its own beans; Dove: 'It knows what it wants.'

>>>>>>> ae37145 (Add strip 97: The Garden (Apple opens Foundation Models, free + Claude/Gemini via Swift))

Sparrow reports Anthropic's new AI just found thousands of zero-days across every major OS and every browser; Raven: 'Every. Single. One.'; Chicken's pathological worry is finally vindicated — he's been saying the bugs were in there for years; Duck: 'Chicken's worldview just got vindicated'; Dove begs Parrot to say their stack is safe; Parrot already scanned the codebase last night, found four hundred zero-days, and patched them by morning; the coffee machine had seven of them; Raven: 'It's still safer than our banking app.'

Sparrow announces orbital data centers are open for business; Raven: 'On-prem. Cloud. Now sky.'; Duck is dazzled by forty NVIDIA chips on ten satellites linked by lasers; Chicken worries about latency from low Earth orbit; Dove wonders if they can move workloads up there since cooling's free in space; Sparrow says the bill could be lower than the cloud; Parrot has already moved the coffee machine telemetry — it pings from a cubesat; Raven: 'The coffee machine is in space.'

GPT-5.4 hits 75% on desktop tasks and now drives the mouse; Raven: 'We built superintelligence. Now it's doing IT support'; Sparrow says it sees the screen and clicks the buttons; Chicken panics about the AI seeing all seventeen of his Stack Overflow tabs; Duck let it run all weekend — inbox zero, expenses filed, three Jira tickets closed; Dove can't believe Duck closed Jira tickets; Parrot's AI cleared her Downloads folder and she saw her wallpaper for the first time in nine years; Raven: 'First useful thing AI's ever done.'

<<<<<<< HEAD

The AI rejected Sparrow's PR; it failed itself nine times before signing off; Duck notes it's harder on itself than Raven is on the team; Raven flinches and says 'Don't say that out loud'; Chicken realizes the AI is working harder than they are; Parrot reveals two weeks of AI code with zero human edits and zero bugs; Dove: 'Performance reviews are going to be interesting.'

DeepSeek V4 dropped — open source, one point six trillion parameters, after three delays; it beats Claude on coding and costs seven times less; Chicken worries 'Does Claude know?'; Raven observes the frontier is open now, with someone new on top every few weeks; Dove says that used to be terrifying; Duck announces he's training his own model, DuckNet, one parameter, just vibes; Parrot: 'That's a linear regression.'

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Sparrow announces a new SOTA open model with Apache license; Raven flashbacks: 'Eight H100s again?'; Sparrow says it runs on a laptop, phone, or Raspberry Pi; Duck: 'The thirty-five dollar one?!'; Parrot casually mentions she's got one running on the Pi monitoring the coffee machine; Chicken: 'The coffee machine is thinking now?!'; Duck proposes a full agent swarm across every bird's laptop; Parrot: 'Already did. Tuesday.'

>>>>>>> ae37145 (Add strip 97: The Garden (Apple opens Foundation Models, free + Claude/Gemini via Swift))